Image of Sunflower Dreams and CJSW Interviewer Aldi Lloshi (right).
Sunflower Dreams performs during Sled Island on Wednesday, 7:30pm at Loophole Coffee Bar
TRANSCRIPT:
Aldi (CJSW)
Can you introduce yourself first?
Sunflower Dreams
My name is Skye Pinay, aka Sunflower Dreams. I am the first and founding and only member of Sunflower Dreams, but maybe one day, there’ll be someone else to help me. But right now, it’s just me.
Aldi (CJSW)
What’s the overall goal for Sunflower Dreams?
Sunflower Dreams
I’ve come to learn that healing is very much a lifelong process. So music has always been something of an outlet for my emotions and feelings, and I started Sunflower Dreams in 2016-2017 and I’m trans, so it’s basically a journal for my journey.
Aldi (CJSW)
What do festivals like Sled Island mean to you as an emerging artist, or even just a creative in general?
Sunflower Dreams
It’s an opportunity to meet people in the industry. Yesterday, I met Tops. I’m also volunteering, so I figured I’d dip my toes into the water, you know, just helping out and giving back. I played last year, and it was fun. It was hot. But it was just nice to meet new people. Last year, I met a ton of people and this year I’m looking forward to seeing what else is there to do.
Aldi (CJSW)
As a Two Spirit, Indigenous artist, how do your cultural roots and lived experiences shape the emotion or the sound of your music?
Sunflower Dreams
Sonically, I used to do a lot of electro pop, so sonically, I’m more into the sub frequency ranges now. And street culture has always had its roots with electronic music. I like dubstep, so I’m trying to connect the street roots with my own traditional roots. Because I grew up in Saskatchewan, I wouldn’t consider myself someone who grew up on the streets, but I’ve always, but I’ve always had an interest in street photography and all that. So I’m trying to incorporate street photography into my artwork and all that jazz.
Aldi (CJSW)
Is combining these kind of different creative aspects important to you?
Sunflower Dreams
Yes, my first song, “Hybrid Nation”, that I released last year, I debuted it Sled Island. It’s a very abstract sounding song. I like abstract art, so I’m trying to keep it on the artsy side, rather than just your simple electronic music formula. I’m trying to parallel my interests of art and music.
Aldi (CJSW)
What does Sunflower Dreams mean to you personally?
Sunflower Dreams
Circling back to me being trans. Sunflower Dreams is very much a symbol. I always kind of hoped that I’d wake up and be a girl. So it kind of touches on that. And sunflowers, when there’s no sunlight, I was reading that, they kind of look towards each other. And as a trans person, that’s, that’s usually what you do. You look for other trans people, you find your home, you find your community. And that’s kind of what I was going with with sunflower dreams.
Aldi (CJSW)
You’ve said in the past before that dubstep has become a good outlet for emotional release. Can you talk a little bit about what the genre specifically allows you to express that other genres might not be able to?
Sunflower Dreams
Well, I was gonna say it’s patternized. I don’t know what it is about pattern based music, but it just connects with my emotions. And to be able to do my own creative process over a drum beat, there’s this catharsis that comes with it. It’s a painstaking process, but in the end, you feel super good about releasing, especially because, with dubstep, Calgary is full of rich dubstep roots and artists. I’m hoping to connect with more dubstep artists.
Aldi (CJSW)
Is there any dubstep artists that in particular you really want to meet?
Sunflower Dreams
There’s this gentleman named Cerdin they’re spelled C-E-R-D-I-N, he’s killing it. I see him playing Blueprint shows. He’s opening up for some really big name artists that roll through town, and he’s been on releases on RL Grimes label. So I would really like to connect with him at some point. Yeah. There’s also A-51, Josh. He’s another Calgary artist and he’s really talented, so I met him before. I would like to see them on a lineup together, and I’m sure they have played lineups together in the past, but those are two of the names that I say are killing it right now.
Aldi (CJSW)
You’ve been producing music since 2005, which is very impressive.
Sunflower Dreams
I started with, like, bootleg mash ups and remixes, and I kind of started playing with synthesizers.
Aldi (CJSW)
What led you to leave behind Alpha380 and step into this new world of Sunflower Dreams?
Sunflower Dreams
So in 2012 when I was working on an album, my house got broken into, and someone stole all my instruments, my computers, and my hard drives containing all my music. After that, was pretty much the book closing on what I thought was my whole entire music career. But it was just the book closing on Alpha380, so I took a year or two or three to heal from that, because it sucks. If someone like, broke into your house, you’d feel pretty shitty too, right? I don’t want to say it was the catalyst of like, it started Sunflower Dreams, but I thought it was gonna end there, but it didn’t. So here we are, oh god, that’s like, 13 years ago when that happened, and I had to restart everything. I also had to relearn everything. Music is a perishable skill I’ve learned. So I started working on this new concept, Sunflower Dreams in 2016 and the rest is history. I laugh about it now, but I wasn’t laughing about it then. I hate to say this, but my music sucked back then, and I listen to it, and I’m like, what is this? At the same time it’s me. I have an A380 tattooed on my neck, it’s an airplane, but it was also kind of just a symbol for Alpha380. It’s always gonna be a part of me. So, I gotta own it. I gotta own that old music. But I’m contemplating re-releasing everything on iTunes and Bandcamp, it just depends on when, I guess.
Aldi (CJSW)
It’s pretty interesting to see how artists grow over their whole career. Where do you think you were mentally and musically back then, compared to now?
Sunflower Dreams
I’m a little more serious now. Back then, I used to be so full of life, but then my mom passed away to cancer, that really sucked. And back then also my sister passed away. I was adopted. My biological mom also passed away back then, and my adopted mom passed away in 2010. So I’m a little more serious now with how I write music and how I go about making my beats. And that’s why I like dubstep. It’s a little more angry. You can be angry as you want. It’s like a punk rock version of electronic music. Someone will crucify me for saying that. There’s jazz influences, and that’s punk rock as well. Punk rock has a lot of old time-y jazz influences, and they’re both rebellious. I grew up playing like punk rock music and playing in punk rock bands, and then after that, that’s when Alpha380 happened, and I used those influences to make this really guitar infused, electro pop. But now I don’t make that kind of pop-y music. So now, it’s kind of darker. I’m proud of who I was.
Aldi (CJSW)
With over 20 years of production behind you. How do you keep the creative process feeling new? Or do you find power in returning to old ideas and fresh perspectives?
Sunflower Dreams
Definitely returning to old ideas, even demos that I’ll start whenever, I had like, 50 demos for this new project and the creative process. I think right now, it’s less about the creative process and more about the finishing process, which is the mixing and the mastering, which is a whole other… it makes me want to pull my hair out because of the other half of music that you learn, the less fun side. Listening back to my music 15 years ago, and I’m listening back to my music now. It’s night and day difference with the quality of the mixing.
Aldi (CJSW)
So “Home” and the “Street Lights” remix both carry a lot of heavy emotional weight. How do you balance your personal storytelling with the shared energy of a collaboration?
Sunflower Dreams
Well, “Home”, pretty much is Ella Jean’s and I’s baby. I’m struggling to remember how “Home” started, but I remember sitting down at a piano with Ella, and we just started writing in Ella’s basement, which was wild. She’s such a talented artist. I don’t know if you’ve ever had a chance to talk to her, but she’s also playing Sled Island with her band, Hip Hip Thursday. To play with another human being has solved a lot of issues, because it’s allowed me to take a look at things from the outside in. Same with the Home remix, like I heard Home on CBC a couple years ago. It was two summers ago at this point, and I resonated with it. And I asked midnight gossip, I was like, ‘Hey, can I can I work with you on this?’. I was actually quite surprised that they even agreed to it, because, anyone who wants to work with me, it’s like, ‘oh really? Oh, thank you!’. I started working with them on it, and it initially started as a drum and bass song remix, but I didn’t like it, and I went back and I switched up the BPM, and now it’s dubstep song. It was nice to hear input from other people about my mixing and that kind of stuff.
Aldi (CJSW)
You mentioned before that it was kind of surprising when they said yes, do you think there’s anything to be said about going out there with confidence and just asking?
Sunflower Dreams
It’s self doubt, it’s really a killer, and I don’t know about anyone else, but I feel like social media plays into a lot of my emotions. If I don’t get asked for a gig, it really makes me feel crappy. Or if I do ask someone if they want to do vocals for the song and they ghost me. I’m like, ‘oh no, they hate me’. But I mean, everybody’s got their own thing. I’ve come to learn in this industry that the door doesn’t open for everyone, but there are doors that open. You know, it’s not the same for you know, you and me or anyone else in this room. And that’s fine.
Aldi (CJSW)
As a playlist curator on SoundCloud, you organize by genre. What role does curation play in your artistic identity? How does it influence your own production?
Sunflower Dreams
Oh my god you see that? I do that because of practice, when I’m SoundCloud surfing, as I call it, I’ll put all the songs that I come across into the playlists, so that when I boot up Record Box, I can connect my SoundCloud and the playlists are there, so without buying anything, I can just search it up on SoundCloud. So that’s what that’s all about. And I’ve actually had people come up and come up and tell me, or message me and say, “oh yeah, I love your playlist”. It’s like, oh, cool. People are listening to them, but I did it just for my organizational needs. But I don’t know, I like the idea of curating.
Aldi (CJSW)
What do you hope listeners walk away with after hearing your music, especially those unfamiliar with the cultural aspects of it or even the emotional spaces that you’re kind of playing with?
Sunflower Dreams
I’m hoping people will walk away understanding dubstep a little bit better, because I’ve noticed, a lot of my audience, isn’t within the dubstep realms, it’s typically in the Pride realms. I’m really hoping people just connect with, electronic music, or UKG, UK Garage, which is another genre that I spin. I’m very heavy on it, and I’m working on more music, but that’s what I hope. Just another understanding through my lens, a trans lens. There’s also intersectionality, I’m First Nations, I hope people just walk away with understanding that a little better.
Aldi (CJSW)
What’s next for Sunflower Dreams after Sled Island?
Sunflower Dreams
I might be playing Queer Prom at the Confluence, maybe. It’s just an opening gig, which is fine. The same night, which is the 27th I’m also playing CJSW, I’m doing a takeover for What Will the Neighbours Think and Remote Emissions. So that’s something I look forward to. And then in the whole month of July, I’m just gonna work on my album, my EP, I guess, is how I’m gonna structure it. So I’m just gonna work on that and hopefully by the end of summer, we’ll have something ready to go. I already have songs ready to go, but I don’t want to release it all at once, so I gotta be patient and get that EP ready.